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The characters in The Box are like cardboard cutouts: Some have "foolish victim" labeled on them, and others fall into the category of absurdly creepy villain.
Worst among the foolish lot is Cameron Diaz, who plays Norma Lewis, a wife and mother who also is an English teacher. In a heavy-handed bit of symbolism, she is also a fan of Jean-Paul Sartre's No Exit. And as the movie edges toward two hours, we're yearning to paraphrase its line "Hell is other people" to "Hell is this movie."

TRAILER: Rummage through 'The Box'
Diaz's intermittent Southern accent and line readings are so unconvincing that they are unintentionally humorous.

The only marginally intriguing character is the enigmatic Arlington Steward, played with more intelligence and dignity than the movie deserves by Frank Langella. Disfigured by a lightning strike, he comes across either serene and messianic or Satanic.

His arrival follows that of a mysterious package, a wooden box with a large button on top. The next day the dapper Steward arrives with an offer: Push the button and get a million dollars, tax-free. The windfall comes with a moral dilemma: If they take the money, somebody will die.

Though the concept is fascinating, director Richard Kelly has fashioned a preposterous tale that lacks the wit that made his Donnie Darko a cult classic.

This story spins off in ridiculous directions, with forces from other dimensions and zombie-like characters come into play. A scene in a library is particularly absurd. Norma and her husband, Arthur (James Marsden), are menaced as they browse the stacks. You hate to think what would happen if they had an overdue book.